It was Valentines day and we met at a bar I was working at, I was single on a lovers holiday, we tried, I tried.. And nothing could have made this man faithful, responsible or any less selfish. My first sign should have been when he couldn't pay his own cell phone bill but that's besides the point. I wanted a relationship so bad I could have over looked a lot... Just not what he had in store.
He cheated, he lied about having 2 kids, an exwife, another girlfriend besides myself.. But I won in the end. I have you ❤
I'll never forget him telling me in May, "Let's get married! I want to start a family!"
Lies.
I wanted that. He didn't! It felt nice to hear the things he said though, I'll give him that.
June came and surprise! I was pregnant!
The day I came back from the hospital with your first picture as a little bean is the night it came crashing down.
I watched unknowingly as he text his very young girlfriend beside me about their plans the next day. She knew about you and I but they didn't care. They were in it for the thrill and I wasn't going to allow their sick games to affect you. I found his emails .. A few to his mom saying don't tell me about his other kids, a few to strangers from the internet looking to have sex, a few from people very angry with him because he stole their drugs.
Get out of my house and don't come back. That's all I had to say.
The day he left, what should have been the worst day of my life as I was pregnant and alone and terrified, turned out to be the best day of my life. He said nasty things about not keeping you. He didnt have to keep you! You were mine and I was in love already with your little body that looked like a grain of rice in my belly. From that day on I focused on you and only you. Surrounding you with people who loved you was my mission. I never wanted you to suffer due to some "man" because we don't need him. To this day, 1 year after I kicked him out, your dad is still with this girlfriend of his texting me behind her back. He wants to be a family but he hasn't changed. Not one bit. He's still the same drug addict who wants to mooch off of us because we are doing so good baby. We have true love. Something a man can never, ever, make me feel is what I feel when I look at you.
The 9 months flew by and all of mommy's friends showered you and I with love! Pure love! They came when we found out you were a little girl! Everyone was so HAPPY! We would have loved you if you were a boy but, we had the girl thing down and were so ready! Every ache, pain, 7 day work week, was so worth it the day I met you.
Dr Vu decided we would schedule an induction on the day before your due date, 2/11.
I was so nervous. I googled everything under the sun! And your Mimi Dee dee and maymay were a ball of nerves too. May may spent the night with us the night before we had to check into the hospital at 4am and drove us there and stayed all day. Mimi arrived around 12, she would have drove me crazy if she was there the whole time. I sat in the hospital bed and listened to your heartbeat for 12 hours waiting on you! You were kicking the monitor on my belly and making me laugh because you hated to be touched and the monitors were bothering you hahaha!
The epidural sent us into distress so Dr Vu decided to stop the meds for a while and when we restarted you didn't respond and descend so.. Csection it was!
Mimi came with us and we were wheeled down the hall to the OR and you were out and screaming so loudly by 4:01 pm. Vivienne Allyn Eustace was here at 6 pounds 15.5 ounces and 20 inches that I loved every bit of. We stayed at the hospital for 3 days and had so many visitors!!! I started calling you little chicken from day one. I thought it suited you and you long chicken legs and fuzzy hair :) We spent our last night alone and I cried and laughed all night. You were so beautiful, it was scary being alone with you outside of my belly and I didn't have nice nurses. On 2/14/15, a year after I met your daddy, I was leaving the hospital with the love of my life.
Daddy didn't call, text, email from October 2014 until April 2015 when his girlfriend gave him permission to contact us.
He had no idea what he's missing... Well he does.. And he wants us back. But he can't go where were going, he's going to drag us down.
Since June 7,2014 when I saw that positive test you have been my entire universe. I want to teach you how to be a young lady who loves God, I want to teach you kindness, love for all races, sizes, religions, good manners, how to set goals and accomplish them, to be a friend to everyone you meet and get to know them no matter what crowd you hang out with. Everyone in this world has struggles you cannot see from the outside, your smile could save their life. It saves mine everyday.
I love you mommy's girl. ❤
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